Most people would agree that being fair is a good thing, and that one should be fair. However, what “Fair” means to everyone is different, and this can cause problems in communication and relations.
Dictionary Definition of Fairness
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “Fair” as:
– agreeing with what is thought to be right or acceptable
– treating people in a way that does not favour some over others
– not too harsh or critical
Personally, I don’t see the dictionary meaning being helping how people understand when something is fair.
Which is Fair to you?
Looking at the above image, which distribution of boxes would you consider fair? That would likely depend on your perspective. Is it to ensure that everyone gets the same number of boxes, or that everyone gets to see the game?
Case Study
I was doing a workshop for a corporate team once, and we were exploring what each person needed in order to best contribute to the team. I shall just name the employee Sue, and her boss is the Director of the department, John. The conversation went something like this:
Sue: I need things to be fair.
(Whole team nods head in agreement)
Me: What do you mean by fair?
Sue: Everyone should have equal workload. Sometimes we have people who have many things to do, and others don’t seem to be doing anything.
John: I have to say something here. I don’t delegate work to everyone equally. I assess their ability, their responsiveness and reliability and determine who to give a task. Some will get more, and some will get less.
How many of you think that there’s already a source of tension between the boss and his direct report? The employee has Consistency in her dominant theme and it is causing her some grief, but the boss is unaware of it.
Me: Sue, what do you think of what your boss said?
Sue: I’m ok with that, as long as we know who is being assigned what, and the reasons behind it.
Me: John, Sue has just described what she needs to be effective, and to see things are fair. What are your thoughts?
John: Yah, I can do that, and communicate more in that area.
I haven’t had contact with the group since the workshop ended, but this digging deeper helped both parties to understand what was needed by each, and how they could collectively meet those needs together. If John delivered on his promise to communicate more openly with Sue in this area, I believe that their working relationship will improve, and their productivity will increase.
Assessing Deep Structure
To assess the deeper structure of language, we often times have to ask the following questions when adjectives (e.g. Fair) normalisations (e.g. Success) are used.
Some good questions to ask are:
- What do you mean by XXX ? (e.g. What do you mean by being fair?)
- How do you know when XXX happens? (e.g. How do you know when your boss is being fair?)
Application
You will often find that a person’s perception is greatly influence by the his/her Strengths Lenses. How are your own talent themes influencing your perception? And how does being able to assess the deeper structure of a person’s language help you to work better with others?
Go ahead and dig deeper in your conversations, you may be surprised at what you find.
Get more information about StrengthsFinder by visiting http://gallupstrengthscenter.com
