“Alex! Do you know that sometimes you scare people by how quickly you think and the questions that you ask in quick succession?”
I was having a late night conversation with Sarah (name has been changed) about a church activity that our group was organising, and we were have a long discussion on the details of the activities, what options we have, what the impact of each option was, what were some of the challenges we were facing and how we could address them. Being a coach, I often go automatically go into coaching mode and start asking a lot of questions.
Mid-way in our conversation, Sarah helped me become more aware of the impact I was having on her – I was scaring her. She would never admit it, of course. Sure, I sometimes scared people, but not her!
So what was happening here?
My strategic talent theme was racing away with my learner in asking questions to problems my restorative talent theme has readily identified. A large number of my talent themes were all running on hi-octane! And it’s impact was that it scares people, because others may not be able to keep up with what I see and where my thoughts are going.
Many of us want to move quickly, and we all move quickly in ways unique to us that we may not even realise when it is happening. But often times, the proverb “More Haste, Less Speed” rings true.
We are all quicker than others in some ways
As our StrengthsFinder profile we tell us, we are all unique; and it gives us a glimpse of what we may be faster than others in. Here are some ways that our different talent themes can make us faster:
Learner – You may learn and grasp new things faster than others
Ideation – You may come up with interesting ideas and concepts faster than others
Strategic – You may think faster and further than others in what to do
Activator – You may start things going faster than others
Empathy – You may understand other people’s feelings faster than others, perhaps even faster than the person exhibiting it.
Restorative – You may see and identify problems faster than others
Self-Assurance – You may jump to conclusions faster than others (Joking!!)
Our motivations and drivers are different, and we can all see something that others may not be able to see (as quickly as you).
Slow down to help others see what you see
In my case, I’ve rushed on asking a series of questions to a multitude of alternatives that I’m mapped out in my mind, which Sarah could not see. Although I was somewhat embarrassed at the impact I was making on her, I was grateful for the feedback as it allowed me to slow down. By laying out the options and their possible impact in a way that Sarah could understand, she could help me see some of the items I’ve missed out, and help me to make my options even better with her Maximiser talent theme.
The church activities turned out pretty well, and it couldn’t have been done as well, if not for my friend’s feedback on how my talent themes were impacting her.
Learning Points
Here are some personal learning points on what happened to me:
- Be willing to give feedback to others so that they know the impact they are having on you. They may not be aware of it.
- Be aware of when you are moving too fast with your talents. Sometimes, we need to slow down to speed up.
How about you? How do you know when you are moving too fast?
