“You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament — this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings — to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.”
Empathy is my #1 Theme, and there are times that I overuse them. When I was a leader in the church leading a group of youths, I had to be able to challenge them to grow, and that experience can sometimes be uncomfortable. Being high in empathy, I sometimes overuse that theme and feel their discomfort so strongly that it becomes difficult for me to challenge them.
People with high Empathy can feel other’s emotions so strongly that it feels like it’s their own. One way to diffuse that emotion is to acknowledge it and bring it up to the surface. At times, we may even discover that what we sensed emotionally from the other person wasn’t true (though I suspect we are pretty accurate when it comes to sensing someone’s emotions). For example, I may say something like “I know this can feel uncomfortable, and it feels somewhat uncomfortable to me too. Is that how you are feeling? How can we work together in this area towards this goal?”
Sometimes the person will clarify the feelings, or sometimes the feelings diffuse just from the acknowledgement of it. This brings a connection, a sense of genuineness that helps creates space.
Do you have Empathy in your Signature themes? How does it look like for you?
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