This article is a second part to the rationale for business owners or managers to build a culture of appreciation at the workplace. How can you implement appreciation at work such that it is meaningful for every person?

Incentives for Appreciation May Backfire

In her debt collection company, Christina Harbridge gave bonuses to her staff based on the amount of ‘thank you’ cards they sent to debtors. This shift in mindset not only created more constructive, win-win conversations between her debt-collecting staff and their debtors, it even led to a triple-fold increase in repayment of debts (Sinek, 2009).

Nevertheless, dangling a carrot for people to express sincere appreciation to others is an oxymoron in itself. When staff receive incentives for showing appreciation, it raises questions about the sincerity of the person expressing appreciation. Decades of research on motivation has shown that rewards are rarely successful at producing lasting changes in attitudes or even behaviour.

When the rewards stop, people usually return to the way they acted before the program began. At least two dozen studies have shown that people expecting to receive a reward for completing a task (or for doing it successfully) simply do not perform as well as those who expect nothing… rewards cause people to lose interest in whatever they were rewarded for doing (Kohn, 1994).

2 Easy Ways to Show True Appreciation

The question then falls back to the drawing board: how can we appreciate colleagues at work genuinely?

1. Know their talents & strengths.

Being aware of your employee’s / colleague’s / manager’s strengths goes a long way in helping you see their contributions at work. Knowing their strengths enable you to see the value they bring to discussions.

One of my colleagues in training and development, for instance, has Arranger in her top 5 strengths (based on the Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment tool):

“When faced with a complex situation involving many factors, Arrangers enjoy managing all the variables, aligning and realigning them until they are sure they have arranged them in the most productive configuration possible.”

When thinking about how to fill up the training places for one of our courses, she suggested inviting a group of staff that the rest of the team didn’t think of. Until that moment, I never truly appreciated the Arranger strength, and I couldn’t have without knowing it was in her top 5!

Knowing your colleagues’ strengths and talents therefore empowers you to appreciate them (and express it) in specific ways.

2. Speak the recipient’s primary Appreciation Language.

What makes one person feel appreciated may not work for another person. According to Paul White and Gary Chapman, the authors of Appreciation Languages at Work, we all have a primary appreciation language out of these 5:

  • Words of Affirmation – Words can strongly motivate and encourage some people, either in written or spoken form. Give specific messages of affirmation, e.g. “Thank you for researching on the cost comparisons”, or “I appreciate your guidance in writing the report”.
  • Quality Time – Giving your undivided attention shows that you truly care. Some feel appreciated when you are physically and mentally present with them, having quality conversations with no distractions. Talk about things personally important to them.
  • Receiving Gifts – A symbol that you thought of the person’s need, gifts don’t have to be extravagant to be impactful. You could share a snack or article that you know the other will enjoy.
  • Acts of Service – To some, actions speak louder than words. Doing something for them goes a long way in making them feel appreciated. It could be offering to get lunch, running an errand, or sharing the workload when they have a lot on their plate.
  • Physical Touch – Touch conveys closeness and assurance. At the workplace, pats on the shoulder, high fives, and hugs can boost morale. In the Asian context, some might only be comfortable expressing appreciation this way to co-workers of the same gender.

To find out the appreciation language of your employee / colleague / manager, you may use the Motivating By Appreciation Inventory. For those familiar with the 5 love languages, these are the same languages applied to the workplace. Your primary appreciation language may or may not differ from your primary love language; it depends on the person.

These two ways can be used together to create win-win working relationships. To appreciate my colleague mentioned earlier, I used Words of Affirmation to thank her for her helpful suggestion and remarkable effort in organising all the administrative information for one of our programs. Since Quality Time is her primary Appreciation Language, I also make it a point to ask her about projects we are managing together, and seek her advice as an Arranger on how best to tackle a tricky situation.

References

  1. Chapman, G. & White, P. (2011). The 5 languages of appreciation in the workplace: Empowering organizations by encouraging people. Chicago, US: Moody Publishers.
  2. Kohn, A. (1994). The risk of rewards. Retrieved from http://www.alfiekohn.org/article/risks-rewards/.
  3. Sinek, S. (2009). Start with why. United States: Portfolio Penguin.
  4. White, P. (2012). Appreciating your staff makes business sense. Do Well, 24-25.
About Clare Sim

Clare is a strengths advocate and writer in positive psychology who strongly believes in maximizing the human potential. Her passion is in empowering and inspiring people to be the best versions of themselves both in and out of work. In her spare time, Clare enjoys baking, reading about relationship and leadership development, and tranquil moments with nature. Top 5 StrengthsFinder 2.0 Themes: Connectedness, Responsibility, Input, Harmony, Maximizer.