If you would like to grow and develop your strengths, it is important to address a myth that seems to be more and more common with the advance of the Strengths Movement. This myth is so detrimental and insidious that if not addressed, it can sabotage your development in a big way. And here it is:
Myth : When you are using your strengths things are always easy or effortless
Many people expect that when they are using their strengths, that everything should be easy and effortless. Anything that is uncomfortable and perhaps challenging is immediately classified as “weakness” or “areas of non-talent” and immediately chucked aside in the name of “focusing on my strengths”.
Here’s the difference, your talents are natural patterns of thoughts, feelings or behaviour, but your strengths, the consistent near-perfect performance at a particular task, needs to be developed.
If you feel that everything is easy or effortless, you are probably staying in your comfort zone. And my friend, there is no growth in the comfort zone, and no comfort in the growth zone.
“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”
– Brian Tracy
Truth : Developing Your Strengths is often uncomfortable
In order to become good at something, there’s a growth process that everyone needs to undergo. While this process can sometimes be quite easy, it usually comes with periods of discomfort which leads to growth.
Think of the time when you were learning something new, how did it feel?
I remember the time when I was first learning how to ride a bicycle. My protective parents made my practice on the grass so that I wouldn’t hurt myself too badly if I fell. And cycling on the grass is more challenging than cycling on the road or pavement. The learning process was challenging, and frustrating even. But it was after persisting in learning how to balance and ride the bicycle that I finally learnt how to control and manage the bicycle.
That’s the natural process of learning and growth, and it usually entails some level of discomfort.
“I’m continually trying to make choices that put me against my own comfort zone. As long as you’re uncomfortable, it means you’re growing.”
– Ashton Kutcher
Be comfortable with being uncomfortable
The U.S. Navy SEALs have a saying: “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.” If you can be comfortable being uncomfortable, you’ll be prepared to handle whatever situation comes along in your own life.
There seems to be a direct relationship between one’s willingness to be uncomfortable and how much excitement, creativity and abundance one experiences. In other words, the more willing you are to be uncomfortable, the more you will find yourself growing, accomplishing and transforming. On the other hand, the less willing you are to be uncomfortable, the more stress, resignation and suffering you are likely experience.
3 Sources of Discomfort
From my personal experiences, there are 3 major sources of discomfort, and they are usually related to a particular fear.
- Fear of the Unknown – Unfamiliarity
Sometimes we hold back from venturing into the unknown. This fear keeps us from using our talents in new ways, or perhaps even utilising some of our talents that are currently underused or are still in the raw state. It sometimes feels like a lack of control, and can keep some people from moving forward. - Fear of Looking Stupid – Lack of Skills or Knowledge
The ego is at work here. The need to look good is holding us back because the process of acquiring new skills or knowledge can appear rather clumsy. But remember, anything worth doing well, is worth doing badly at first. We all have a learning curve to navigate through. A baby with such a mindset would never have learnt to walk! - Fear of Failure – Perfectionism
This is similar to the fear of looking stupid, but I think it is in a league of its own. The need to be perfect and see without blemish can keep us from learning and also being authentic. Authenticity is extremely critical to our personal well-being, and also our ability to be ourselves without judgement. Only when we can be ourselves do we really allow our strengths to shine, and accept our weaknesses so that we can mitigate them (not ignore them as many people tend to mistakenly do in the name of focusing on strengths).
5 Ways to Overcome Discomfort
- Focus on your WHY
To increase your motivation and passion to stop into the growth zone, is to remain connected with the big “WHY”. Why is this important? What will this achieve for you? Focusing on your “WHY” can help you refuel your tank and take the crucial first step or next step. - Engage Your Strengths
When we leverage on our strengths, it helps us to turn our discomfort into engagement. It will also help us to do things in ways that are most aligned with who we are.I was coaching a young man who told me that he found generating client reports extremely boring, but when he discovered that he could use his “Futuristic” and “Learner” themes to learn new ways of presenting client reports creatively that would differentiate himself from other people, he became much more enthusiastic, and he was developing his talents into strengths at the same time!
- Break it down
Sometimes the outcome that we have in mind is way too big, or too far in the future. Breakdown each thing that you need to do into their smaller components. This will make what we set out to do much less daunting.“Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, life’s hard.”
― John Bytheway - Just Do it!
Sometimes, we overthink and suffer “paralysis by analysis”. This perhaps occurs due to an overuse of Strategic Thinking Themes. Sometimes, it is useful to tune down our use of Strategic Thinking Themes and just step into things. If you have other themes that could push you into action, use it. After all, no one simply thought an achievement into reality, action needs to be taken. - Reward yourself
Some of us would need to able to encourage ourselves to take action by rewarding ourselves when we accomplish something by stepping out of our comfort zone, or when we develop something new. This rewarding process can help strengthen yourself and become more comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s also about setting something that you can look forward to upon accomplishing a task or goal.
Application
Here are some questions that you can ask yourself today:
- What are some areas of growth that I can undertake?
- What is uncomfortable about it? Is there a fear that is holding me back?
- How can I become more comfortable with being uncomfortable? What ways can I adopt to to overcome discomfort?
- What is one action that I can take today to move forward?
Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! I’d love to hear from you.
Get more information about StrengthsFinder by visiting http://gallupstrengthscenter.com
